Have you ever been cheated on? Do you just pack a bag and leave? In today’s wild world of fluid relationships, where you have sooooo many choices--polyamory, non-monogamy, play parties, dungeons, dragons--what is cheating even in the midst of all this? And where does good old fashioned monogamy stand?  The definition of cheating is to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game. What happens when you create new rules to your relationship game, then cheating isn’t cheating anymore, is it?

In Christopher Ryan’s best-selling book, Sex At Dawn, the psychology behind cheating in modern day relationships becomes very apparent. On a biological level, we have an urge for “multiple mating” and this programming goes back many many generations, before the rise of agriculture.

“It took a village to raise a child because any father or mother in the village might have created that child.”

- John L. Murphy

Back in the days of the Bonobos, cheating wasn’t even a word! But since the rise of agriculture, monogamy, paternity and maternity have become over glorified as a means to keep human kind in order. This new world order may have become the norm in society but human nature hasn’t quite caught up. Hence, we find ourselves in this constant battle of the sexes. Cheating has become a norm within this world oder for modern relationships. Can we really fight our innate human urge for intimacy with others whether or not we are in a relationship?

To deepen your understanding of the psychology behind cheating and how to prevent cheating in your relationship listen to this episode of Clit Talk.