EP188 Ethical Non-Monogamy with Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook

November 24, 2021 Sugar

Waddup cliterati, so those of you who don’t know, today, November 23rd is Polyamory Day. Happy Poloyamory Day for all you polyamorous lovers out there!

We've decided to bring back one of our favorite episodes that we have ever done on the subject with the incredible Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook and her husband of 16 years.

Whether you’re in the camp where you are considering potentially opening up your relationship, or if you’re in the camp where you think polyamory is mostly about having sex, or is only for commitment-phobes, or it would never work long-term, we are here to debunk all those myths and more from a doctor’s perspective.

Dr. Laurie started at the Mustang Ranch, then went on to get her PhD in Sexology and is working towards her masters now. Today , Dr. Laurie brought a guest with her, her husband of 16 years. The reason we wanted to have these two love birds on Clit Talk is because they've created a successful, ethically non-monogamous relationship and they have kids. They’re a totally blended family if you will.

There seems to be some misunderstanding around what polyamory is as it relates to non-monogamy. We asked Dr. Laurie to distinguish the difference between the two.

“Unfortunately, too often people use the term polyamory as the umbrella term meaning all things non-monogamous. Non-monogamous could be swinging, could be polyamory, could be wife swapping/cuckolding, group sex parties, different forms of BDSM, and many other variations. Under the umbrella of polyamory, there is an emotional component. By being polyamorous, I have love, affection and care for my husband and we’re sexual but I also have another partner that I have love, affection and care for and we’re sexual. And that is a relationship that’s building that’s important to me. It’s more than just friends with benefits. ” - Dr. Laurie

In this episode of Clit Talk we explore:

Care. Confidentiality. Respect.
The social construct of marriage
How the heck this lifestyle works
The variations of non-monogamous
Dealing with jealousy when it shows up
The intricacies of a non-monogamous relationship
Setting healthy boundaries that honor the relationship
Managing emotional connections with multiple partners
The difference between polyamory and other types of non-monogamy
How to start meeting people in the community to explore non-monogamy

At the end of the episode there is a bonus meditation that will rock your genitals and start opening up the non-monogamous brain circuits!

Click here to listen to this episode of Clit Talk on Apple Podcasts and Subscribe.

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Our Favorite Quotes From the Episode

“People can’t shame you for something that you own.” - Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook

“Most people, regardless of how evolved we think we are, have a really hard time saying no.” - Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook

About Dr. Laurie Bennet-Cook

“Welcoming and affirming of all gender identities, all sexual orientations, all sexual and relationship expressions.

As a Sexologist, a large part of my job is to be a sex enabler. I assist others in achieving the level of sexual function they desire through counseling, coaching, education and research. I enjoy the study and research of not only what people are doing sexually, but how they feel about it.

In addition to offering counseling in my office or via Skype and Zoom, I am the Executive Director for Sex Positive Utah, Co-Organizer for sex Positive Los Angeles and sit on the advisory board of Sex Positive World. Through these non-profits I offer sexual education and support programs throughout both Los Angeles and Salt Lake City. I am also a founding member of the Chinese Sexological Association and organize educational presentations and events here in the United States as well as in China.”