**Compersion: How to Eliminate Jealousy from your Relationship with Coopetition Coaching**

Episode 171

What is up Cliterati!

We’re covering a topic we haven’t broached before with the Founders of Coopetition Coaching! Compersion. Compersion is a feeling of joy from others’ pleasure, specifically celebrating your partner(s)’ other relationships in a polyamorous structure. The term was coined about forty years ago using a ouija board – seriously! Today, we have a couple who have walked the walk in their relationship and are here to openly share about their life and how using compersion is a tool to channel positivity, unpack jealousy, communicate with your partner(s), and make sure each party’s cup filleth over.

Our Favorite Quotes From the Episode

“Compersion is not the destination, it’s the journey. It’s not a place that you’re going to arrive at. It’s a place of ongoing search. Some days are going to be easier than others, especially when your cup is full. But when your cup is not full, and you're not able to express yourself in the way that you fully need to, well then there is a bigger conversation to be had and there is work to be done on the self and the relationship with yourself before looking for compersion somewhere else or looking to have compersion for your partner.
When your cup is full and you’re receiving all of the things that you need from your partner and you’re giving yourself everything you need, you feel complete in yourself. Every relationship is not finding somebody else to be complete, it’s 200%. You’re creating 200%. So when you’re at your 100%, you are much more likely to be able to see your partner doing something that will reach their 100% percent and be so much more behind that, and so much more excited for that, and be able to take jealousy and start chiseling away at that.”

“Compersion is the feeling of joy that you get when you see someone else experiencing joy and pleasure. It was coined by the Polyamorous Community to talk about the feeeling you get when you see your partner flirting with someone or kissing someone or maybe making love to someone, and you feel so overjoyed, so elated for their pleasure. But it’s something that spills over to all aspects of our life. It's also that same feeling you get when you see your best friend crushing it at work and you're like, YES, Get it! It is incredibly difficult to feel joy for your partner’s joy when your cup feels empty and when each of you is not showing up for each other first. Get really clear on what your needs are to feel safe in a sexual environment with someone else.
Yonatan I practice an intimacy exercise that connects us very deeply and brings us back to one another when we’re feeling a little bit disconnected. It’s simply sitting cross legged in front of each other, placing our hands on each other’s hearts, and taking five really deep breaths looking deeply into each other’s eyes.”
- Jaime Anderson

**This is a photograph of Sugar and her husband doing the exercise in a session with Jaime and Yonatan.**

QUESTIONS/TALKING POINTS

Compersion / Jealousy (two sides of the same coin)

What is Compersion?
- The feeling of joy we get from other people's joy. It's a term that's rooted in the Poly community and describes the feeling you get when you see your partner experiencing joy or pleasure with someone else, but can be experienced by everyone.
Our thoughts on Compersion, how it shows up in our life:
- Compersion is available in all of our relationships, not just poly ones (think about that feeling you get when you see your best friend killing it at work.
- Chat about Lindsey & Yonatan's deep intimacy laughs & the amount of joy I experience seeing that.
A successful relationship isn't totally free from jealousy, but the individuals don't allow the emotion to take the driver's seat.
How Compersion ties into Coopetition:
- Much like a tree, we must expand in order to grow in our relationships (friendships. partnerships etc.). As the roots reach deeper & the branches reach higher, we strengthen the trunk.
- When we see our partner growing in opposition from from us, we can begin to feel like we're breaking apart, but it may actually be strengthening the center
- How we navigate jealousy:
  - Pause, connect to our breath, create space for ourselves & take care of yourself. When you feel taken care of & your cup is full, it's easier to navigate these feelings & talk through them without reacting.

ABOUT THE FOUNDERS

Yonatan Elkayam:

Yonatan Elkayam has spent his life exploring his creativity. He is a musician, film-maker and actor and deeply understands the importance of play. He’s also an energy healer, coach, trained in classical Pilates and the cofounder of Coopetition Coaching.

Jaime Anderson:

Jaime Anderson is a coach, energy healer and the co-founder of Coopetition Coaching. After spending a decade in the fitness industry and witnessing the people around her (herself included) burn out time and time again, she and her partner teamed up to form Coopetition Coaching; a coaching service designed to help you fill your own cup. She and Yonatan are on a mission to bring more love, pleasure and joy to the world and they believe it begins with the self.

ABOUT COOPETITION COACHING

Coopetition Coaching:

Coopetition coaching was founded with the understanding that we can’t pour from a cup that’s empty. When we looked around, we saw so many of the people we love, respect and care for taking care of those around themselves, but leaving their own cups half full.

We bring together breath, energy healing, movement, intimacy and play to help our clients step into their power, bring more pleasure to their lives & elevate their relationships.

STAY CONNECTED & STAY IN TOUCH

yonatan@coopetitioncoaching.com

jaime@coopetitioncoaching.com

Instagram: @coopetitioncoaching

Website: coopetitioncoaching.com

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO CONTENT FOR MEMBERS ONLY

How to Have an Open Conversation

About Your Needs

- Coopetition Coaching Exercise -

WATCH ON PATREON

Asking for what we need can be a reeeaaaalll biatch!

It takes vulnerability to express your needs so they can be received.

You can do this exercise with anyone you are in a relationship with, whether that be your romantic partner, colleague, friend, or family member.

In this video Jaime and Yonatan demonstrate this exercise with one another.

It is so powerful and extremely helpful.

Set aside 10 minutes with yourself or a partner and try it out for yourself!

Sugar and her partner have been working with Jaime and Yonatan for over 5 months now and have been implementing the tools they learned on a daily basis.