The Secret to Being Connected to Your Pleasure in Every Area of Life & How to DO IT NOW!
Episode 158
Hey Cliterati!
As we enter our 3 year anniversary with Masturbation May, we took the time to look back 158 episodes ago to remember what our life was like before pleasure and embracing the word Pussy in a community of women. It’s been the most profound privilege to dive into the world of taboo, integrate it into our lives, boot the people and habits who didn’t serve our higher good, learn how to set boundaries, practice this term of ‘being embodied’ as a lifestyle and all along the way share EVERYTHING with you. I mean, I think there’s very little we’ve held back… and mostly that’s just a matter of time until we process.
As we enter this magical time of the year, Masturbation May, we are focusing NOT JUST on masturbation as a wham-bam-thank-you-mam kinda of deal… we have evolved here at Clit Talk and we are taking the best of the best from our show PLUS our own life experience and experimentation AND we’re going to be giving away a FREE 5-day course.
Sex and Empowerment: A roadmap to regain self love, harness your true voice, and live a turned on life.
In this course, you will go from feeling held back and fuckstrated to feeling like a bad ass bitch, and experience full self expression, freedom in communication, and sexual liberation.
We want our OG Cliterati (our 10K weekly listeners - that’s right, we see you) who have been with us since the get go - we want you to have these tools at your fingertips. Listening to our show every week has been a part of creating a pleasure positive lifestyle and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Integrating these practices and testing what you like and don’t like takes accountability, community, courage and responsibility - not the sexiest of words… and it’s true. Lindsey, Sugar and I have taken the time to look back and unpack this enormous pleasure gap that WAS our life three years ago and start to teach what we’ve learned.
Katie's Breakthrough
I pray that every person reading this knows the importance of pleasuring their own body. As we embark on our celebration of Masturbation May, I want to share with you a specific moment in time…
There I was, after 8 months laying in bed, crying. I’m a nurse and was great at taking care of others, I didn’t even know how little I knew about taking care of myself. The left side of my body (my feminine side) had endured a broken foot, a herniated torn disc, a kidney stone and finally a concussion… it was only then that I stopped pushing my body and started to listen. Along with 1 out of 5 women in America, I had never mastubarbated before. I didn’t even know it was something women did for themselves. As I opened up to carving out time for more self-love, my physical issues started to resolve. Since then, it’s been my mission to spread the word that masturbation is a health conversation AND that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Sugar's Breakthrough
There’s a real difference between getting off versus making love to yourself. I know I don’t like the experience of just getting off when it comes to sex… Quite the opposite actually. I crave the experience of making love when I fu*ck. This is Sugar here, sharing. I’m not getting woowoo over here and claiming to make love to myself when I masturbate. I’ve been notorious for masturbating in between conference calls. There are times when I just want that release. From a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual standpoint I know - especially after these three years of being with Clit Talk - that when I give myself the space and time to pleasure myself, the outcome is far more satiating than the instant gratification of an orgasm from a quickie. I feel like it’s healing. Because here’s what I realized… My sexual trauma from horrific experiences I’ve had in the past reinforced this f*ucker of a little voice in my head saying “you don’t deserve it… your pleasure doesn’t matter… you’re not worth the time…” and so when I don’t give myself the time when I masturbate I miss the opportunity to tell myself a new narrative… “I matter, I deserve pleasure, I am worth it…” which feels sooooo much better, yummier, and feels a heaven of a lot more pleasurable.
Masturbation ebbs and flows. There are some days where I just need that quick release but more often than not these days I make love to myself when I masturbate. It’s not only more pleasurable, it’s also a lot more beneficial from a sexual health standpoint. Longer states of pleasure have been shown to have deeper healing effects on the body on a cellular level.”
Lindsey's Breakthrough
As I sat in what had been my bedroom for the past 3 years for the last time. I cried. I cried because I was leaving the man I thought I was going to marry. I cried because I didn't know what was next. I cried because I was 33, knew I wanted children of my own and was now afraid of my age because I was single yet again, and because this was not the fu*king "timeline" I had laid out for myself.
Self-proclaimed timelines can be sneaky little bastards and set you up for a life where you are constantly criticizing yourself and playing the comparison game.
In the past, before Clit Talk, I would have predictably been sent down a spiral of beating myself up, binge drinking, and finding the next partner who would have me.
But this time was different, although I was grieving and it hurt, this time I was sexually empowered, self-care was a priority for me, and I had a kick-ass community of sisters by my side.
Using pleasure as my guiding star, the lessons I learned from @mamagena and Clit Talk, I was able to release the shame I felt around 'timelines,' forgive myself and in time trust that I was on my perfect path for me and that I have the power to create anything I want in my life.
If you feel trapped by a self-proclaimed timeline remember...
Your timeline sets you up for failure, surprises make life interesting, leave room for adventures and life might have bigger things in store for you than you had for yourself.
