Body Confidence | Sexual Confidence in the Bedroom
Episode 217
Is body image affecting your sexual confidence in the bedroom?
Are you stuck inside your head so much that you can’t enjoy yourself? If you can relate don’t worry we’ve got you covered!
Welcome to Clit Talk Summer School a month long series we are doing this July to help our listeners increase their libidos, cultivate sexual confidence and deepen intimacy in all relationships (including yourself) so that your sex and communication is on FIRE this summer!
Each week we’re are also going to give you a taste of our Sex and Empowerment Signature Masterclass by sharing one of our favorite and most powerful distinctions, “Pleasure Parameters,” each week we will introduce you to a new parameter and share simple ways to have these powerful tools thriving in your life. This week our Pleasure Parameter is…Worthiness - inside of our program we define worthiness as your access to Generosity with yourself and others.
Body confidence is a hot topic here at Clit Talk and we’re here today to have a candid conversation about sexual confidence in the bedroom.
Tune into this episode and checkout the video on YouTube with 3 powerful tips for boosting your sexual confidence.
In this episode we explore:
What exactly sexual confidence is
Tips for boosting your sexual confidence
Worthiness - your access to generosity with yourself and others
A Message From Lindsey, one of the three Hosts of Clit Talk:
I know for me I struggle enough with my body image when it manages to creep into the bedroom it can be the most frustrating thing. You just want to enjoy your pleasure and this amazing experience you're having and all you can think about is are my thighs jiggling? Or can they see how my stomach looks at the angle? You can’t enjoy anything happening between your legs.
Let’s talk about how we can have some freedom from this frustrating situation.
For those of you who don’t know me my name is Lindsey and I am one of the hosts of the top rated sexuality podcast Clit Talk.
I don’t know about you but I have been frustrated in the past when people tell me “you look beautiful the way you are,” or “just learn to love yourself exactly as you are.” These seem like great things to say on the surface but the problem with these statements is they live inside of the paradigm of social systems that designate certain bodies as more worthy, healthy, and desirable than others.
The first step to true body liberation is to start unwinding from the patriarchal story we have been told about our bodies our whole life. Our worth is NOT based on our looks. I know it sounds easier said than done and here’s the truth: body confidence can take time and it's fluid for everyone! So start by being gentle with yourself.
And I want you to hear this. I want you to write this down, put it on your mirror, say it everyday until it's your truth…
ALL BODIES ARE GOOD BODIES AND PLEASURE IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT.
Checkout my YouTube video where I’m also going to share with you a powerful journal exercise that we use in our 21 Self Love Reset that can support you in your liberation starting today.
Here are a few things about sexual confidence that we have learned after interviewing hundreds of sexperts, doctors, and pronstars on the podcast.
Sexual confidence is not about being "good" in bed. It's not about having ripped abs or big boobs. And it certainly doesn't come from having a lot of sex.
Sexual confidence is knowing you deserve pleasure and being able to communicate clearly what feels good for you and being able to ask for what you want.
Just like "Self-confidence is fluid, so is sexual confidence so meet yourself where you are at.
3 tips for boosting your sexual confidence:
Discover your personal mastrbation style: Explore your body so you know what you like, experiment with different personal edges, maybe you like romance and would like to start with candles and a bath. Maybe you want to be tied up and dominated. The imagination can be endless, be willing to discover what really turns you on so you can communicate that. (We have an entire episode about this in our free clit talk cliff notes bolowe if you would like for education on masterbation styles.)
Make the shift from performative sex towards pleasurable sexual experiences. Practice mindfulness so you can work to bring yourself out of your head and back into the moment. One of my favorites is to close my eyes and just focus on the sensation of touch.
Actively generate your body liberation journey and be generous with yourself. As promised, here is one of our favorite journal exercises from our 21 Day Self Love Reset. (Which is only $37 by the way link below!)
Journal Exercise:
This exercise is called use 25 words: Pause and come back when you have a journal.
Seeing ourselves in a way that is not just related to our physical appearance or our roles that we play in life is essential. We are so much more than the way we look or how we provide for other people. By better understanding our totality we can begin to embrace our entire selfs. In your journal I want you to describe yourself in 25 words or less without using any physical descriptors and without naming any of your roles. Don’t overthink it, just write your sentence in a minute or less. When you read your sentence you might discover a simple truth about your mission, vision, or what brings you pleasure. Here’s one example I did to get you started.
“I am a woman who is proud of her history, aspires to use her creativity, positivity, and looks forward to her future.”
Thanks so much for being here today. I hope this made a difference for you. Be sure to check out the rest of our Clit Talk Summer School and if you’re enjoying this conversation please click the links below. We always have tons of FREE resources in addition to the podcast as well as our flagship digital courses.
WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO
Tune Into This Week’s Episode Of Clit Talk
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Pleasure Positive Resources
Are you ready for the Unbelievably Easy Way to Mindful Self Pleasure, Epic Intimacy, & Supercharged Sexual Confidence for FREE?!? Then click here…
FREE 5-Day Sex & Empowerment Digital Course July 18th - July 22nd!