Sexual Desire | Increase Female Libido Naturally with these Sexual Intimacy Tools, Foreplay Tips & Low Libido Hacks
Episode 219
Are you sexually frustrated?
Do you never feel ‘in the mood’? Is your desire difference affecting your relationship in the bedroom?
If you can relate, don’t worry we’ve got you covered! Whether you’re in a relationship or not, here are 3 Powerful tips for igniting that fire again.
Welcome to Clit Talk Summer School a month long series we are doing this July to help our listeners increase their libidos, cultivate sexual confidence and deepen intimacy in all relationships (including yourself) so that your sex and communication is on FIRE this summer!
Each week we’re are also going to give you a taste of our Sex and Empowerment Signature Masterclass by sharing one of our favorite and most powerful distinctions, “Pleasure Parameters,” each week we will introduce you to a new parameter and share simple ways to have these powerful tools thriving in your life. This week our Pleasure Parameter is… Value based boundaries - inside of our program we define value based boundaries as our access to Leading with integrity and staying true to yourself.
In this episode we explore:
Value Based Boundaries - access to leading with integrity and staying true to yourself.
Desire is not linear - it ebbs and flows as you go through life and after major life transitions, it’s valuable to revisit your “type of desire” and check in with yourself and your partners.
Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire
Desire Differences in all people and genders and tools to find more common ground so everyone is getting what they want in bed.
A Message From Katie (RN, Sex Educator & one of the three Hosts of Clit Talk):
I know for me, I’ve struggled with low libido, lack of desire and complete resignation when it’s come to my relationship with sex and intimacy - whether it’s with myself or with my partner. Making pleasure a priority always seems like an EXTRA thing on my ‘to do’ list, It would always get pushed to the back burner because I ran out of time, I’ve too tired, I’d rather watch tv or flat out I don’t want to and then when I would finally carve out the time, I was like what the fuck do I do when I don’t feel like it?
Let’s talk about how we can have some freedom from this frustrating situation.
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Katie Roberts. I’m a registered nurse, sex educator, writer and one of three host of the top rated sexuality podcast Clit Talk.
Welcome to Clit Talk Summer School a month long series to help our listeners increase their libdos, cultivate sexual confidence and deepen intimacy in all relationships (including yourself) so that your sex and communication is on FIRE this summer!
Each week we’re are also going to give you a taste of our Sex and Empowerment Signature Masterclass by sharing one of our favorite and most powerful distinctions, “Pleasure Parameters,” each week we will introduce you to a new parameter and share simple ways to have these powerful tools thriving in your life. This week our Pleasure Parameter is…
Value Based Boundaries: Are access to Leading with integrity and staying true to yourself.
One value that we have found is really important is knowing your type of desire. Today we’re going to be talking about Desire Differences.
Life stressors are a real thing and they absolutely get in the way of desire. And there’s been times in my life when desire was ON FIRE and times when I wish I could get back to that place again and times when I’m resigned that I’ll never get back there again.
Desire is not linear. It needs to be revisited again and again especially when you’ve have big life transitions. Also you don’t want to “go back there” my teacher Dr. Ashley Grinonneau-Denton from the Sexuality Training Institute always says…
‘The way things were got you to where you are now, so let’s create something new and take the things that we liked before.”
Otherwise, you’ll be perpetually seeking vs. being. And your way of “being” it the MOST crucial crux of all of our Sex & Empowerment digital courses that we teach to you embody.
What I want you to remember is…
PLEASURE IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT
And you need to reach for it like your life depends on it… because it does.
Checkout my YouTube video where I’m also going to share with you our best tools to reignite that flame of desire.
Sexual Desire Types
There are two types of desire: spontaneous desire vs. responsive desire.
Responsive desire
May not think of sex unless something sparks emotional and/or erotic interest - feeling nurtured, commitment, flirting earlier in the day, dishes being done
May need to decompress and build sexual, erotic energy
Non-concordant arousal often present
Spontaneous desire
‘In the mood’ without physiologically arousing activities
“I’m ready to have sex/fuck/make love” (after just having walked through the door and greeting my partner)
For those who roll this way, may be difficult to accept that partner(s) who have responsive desire aren’t experiencing desire in the same way - “We haven’t had sex in so long, how are you not horny?”
High desire for non-erotic touch - explore what this means for each couple
High desire for flirtation/playfulness
May struggle with rejection if sexual initiation is not accepted and/or put too much weight on their partner to meet sexual needs
Tools to create intimate foreplay
Masturbation - get to know what you like
The 10 minute cuddle - Ritualized quality time with yourself or with your partner without screens, devices or substances.
Communication - Take time to learn about your partner: share your desires with each other, play with submission vs. dominance - allow normal life to be foreplay
Self-pleasuring and having sex regardless of low sense of desire
Engaging in different sexual activity - playing heads up NAKED, try the new sexual stories app Dypsia
Schedule a sex date: let’s debunk that scheduled sex is not sexy
Thanks so much for being here today. I hope this made a difference for you. Be sure to check out the rest of our Clit Talk Summer School and if you’re enjoying this conversation please click the links below. We always have tons of FREE resources in addition to the podcast as well as our flagship digital courses.
Tune Into This Week’s Episode Of Clit Talk
Stay Connected with Clit Talk
Pleasure Positive Resources
Are you ready for the Unbelievably Easy Way to Mindful Self Pleasure, Epic Intimacy, & Supercharged Sexual Confidence for FREE?!? Then click here…
